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Resurrection Anglican Church
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Bad Language(some insights into why we speak the way we do)by George Koch A subject of regular discussion and concern in the church is the use of offensive language. What is or is not "offensive" obviously differs by culture and even year-by-year, but there are general insights into the whole issue that might lend some perspective and understanding. This includes such things as swear words and "using God's name in vain." First, "swear words" are often simply noise - that is, placeholders without real meaning. An obvious example is, like, you know, how some people, like, can't say a, you know, whole sentence without, like, saying "like" and "you know" all the time? They sometimes talk this way just out of habit, or to form a common "bond" of people who lace their speech with the same kinds of words, but also often they use these filler words as a way to pause and think quickly about what they will say next. The words become like awkward, long commas. They fill up the silence that would otherwise be there while they are trying to collect their thoughts in mid-sentence. They are "noise words" because they are not a part of the "signal" in the sentence, and they tend to bury the signal. People who use this kind of noise word have a low signal-to-noise ratio in their sentences, and so they don't communicate as well as people who don't use noise words. I've known people who used "m*f*" in the same way as some people use "like" and "you know." The words appear several times in each sentence, and the actual, literal meaning of "m*f*" is not even given a second thought. The words are just noise words, and their friends filter them out nearly as fast as they are said. Their language had a low signal-to-noise ratio, so filtering was needed. Personally, I can't see a lot of benefit to introducing noise into my communications. Second, impact is lost when something becomes too common. Ever know someone who yells all the time? After not too long you ignore them and the yelling doesn't get your attention. But someone who speaks calmly most of the time who suddenly yells really gets your attention. Words are that way too. I have a friend, now retired, who was once our priest. He was a good guy - honest, easygoing, plain-spoken and not given to "bad language." We had something really terrible happen to us in our family, and I called him to get help. When I told him what had happened, he used a four-letter word that starts with "s." I had never heard him use the word before, and never have since. If he had used it all the time, then his use of it in this instance would not have conveyed any special strength to his anguish for us. But because he didn't usually talk this way, when he said it I knew that he knew how much we had been hurt and how desperate things were for us. The word had power because he had never used it with me before. If it had been constantly in his language, it would have been weak and powerless when he said it to me. Third, if my goal is to communicate ideas in a way that is convincing, I need to be wise about how people hear. If the words I choose, whether "bad language" or just a condescending tone, cause my listeners to throw up their defenses or become angry, then I've failed to be convincing. This is just good debate logic. Put your arguments, your words, in such a way that people can hear and appreciate them, not in ways that cause them to stop listening or want to argue or leave. I know it sometimes feels good to yell or talk down to someone or use "bad language" when we're mad, and some people think bad words will "shock" people out of their uptightness or lethargy or whatever, but I'm old enough to realize that this is nearly always counter-productive. It doesn't serve my goals very well, and if I'm not wise enough to serve my goals well, you can bet no one else will do it for me. I could list a few more reasons, but they're all similar. If I'm trying to touch someone emotionally, or communicate an idea clearly to as many people as possible, then I need to be wise enough not to use "bad language." Bad language just isn't very good at clear communication, or winning folks over to a point of view. Fourth, the Ten Commandments, as you rightly guessed in your essay, do not address swearing or dirty language or anything like that. The first Commandment is: Exodus 20:7 (King James Version) "Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain." The NIV puts it this way: "You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name." This does not refer to swearing in the sense of "bad language" or the familiar expression "G*d* it." It means making a hollow or empty promise and saying "I swear to God." It is using God's name to back up a promise you don't intend to keep. However, there are other places that Bible does counsel against "bad language." Here are a few: Ephesians 4:29 Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 5:4 Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes - these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. Romans 3:12 All have turned away from God; all have gone wrong. No one does good, not even one. 13 Their talk is foul, like the stench from an open grave. Their speech is filled with lies. The poison of a deadly snake drips from their lips. 14 Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness. 15 They are quick to commit murder. 16 Wherever they go, destruction and misery follow them. 17 They do not know what true peace is. 18 They have no fear of God to restrain them. Colossians 3:8 But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. These all mean what they say. The Greek underneath them is basically what you read here. None of this is particularly uptight or legalistic. It is just wise counsel. Think of it this way: If we have a genuine loving relationship with another person, or a loving God, why would our mouths be filled with "foul or abusive language," "obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes" or "dirty language"? We wouldn't refrain from this because we'd be afraid He'd hit us with lightning, but rather because we appreciate Him, and desire to have our lips speak "thankfulness to God" and for "everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." Earlier I said, "I know it sometimes feels good to yell or talk down to someone or use 'bad language' when we're mad, and some people think bad words will 'shock' people out of their uptightness or lethargy or whatever, but I'm old enough to realize that this is nearly always counter-productive (that is, IT DOESN'T WORK!). It doesn't serve my goals very well, and if I'm not smart enough to serve my goals well, you can bet no one else will do it for me." Well, guess what? God already knew this long before I was ever born. His wise counsel was written down in Scripture long before I figured it out. I finally realized (duh) that the things God tells me not to do in Scripture are not because He's mean or touchy; they're because He knows what is healthy for me (and He cares), what is effective in my ways of living and speaking (and He cares), and what is most helpful in keeping up a loving relationship with Him (and He REALLY cares). He knows what works and what doesn't and He's clear about it. And since what I really, really want, what I am hungry for, is Him, I pay attention to His advice. Because He is gentle and loving with me, this means also that I in turn don't yell at and condemn people who don't "get" this yet. It means I am willing to discuss and explore the issues with them, and act and speak in a way that honors the One that I love and serve, so they can desire to know Him too.
This was originally written in response to an article by one of the teenagers in our church that appeared on their Web site at http://www.reznet.org/essay1.shtml. But since it was more widely applicable to the language all of us use, it is included here on its own. |
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Love
God, neighbor and enemy. 